I may or may not be a little drunk atm.
But it’s fine for the time being I guess. I did not attend any university seminars today and I kinda feel bad about it…but I just couldn’t leave my flat today. What is really strange because I don’t feel too shitty and could almost describe my mood as pretty okay. But leaving the house was impossible.
Well then…it happens, I guess.
At the moment old and buried things crawl back into my life and….I don’t really mind it, but it shows me how much time I wasted doing nothing and feeling sorry for myself instead of using it to do things.
I had such wonderful hobbies and threw them all away just because of the feeling not being good enough in them…Can you imagine? Not being good enough at HOBBIES! Something that should be fun and relaxing and inspirational.
And what I did in the past when I had the feeling of not being good enough was giving it up altogether.
Smart thing to do, right?
Well, fuck me….I was such a stupid and pathetic piece of shit.
Am I any different right now?
But now it all comes back to me and I am happy about it!
Maybe it is a second chance
Maybe it is a chance at all to try things all over again. Things I am still passionate about, things I still love.
Am I crying right now?
Am I kinda happy?